


(just) the pilot

by Florchis



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Episode: s05e22 The End, F/M, Gen, Light Angst, Mentions of MCD, Spoilers, phone conversation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 10:31:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florchis/pseuds/Florchis
Summary: Agent Davis calls his wife to let her know about his next mission.





	(just) the pilot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stjarna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjarna/gifts).



> THIS CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 5X22. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. 
> 
> @the-nerdy-stjarna deserves a shout out for at least half of this, what with me stealing her first name for Davis, the first name for his wife and because this was inspired by [this post of hers](https://the-nerdy-stjarna.tumblr.com/post/174065318054/cryofitz-will-be-saved-because-fitz-built-a).

“Zachary, you can _not_ be saying what I think you are saying.”

Davis moves the phone away from his mouth before sighing, because he doesn’t want to listen to the guaranteed scolding he would get for that.

“Mindy, I’m sorry.”

He says it because it’s true, but also because there is not much else he can actually say to her. He is going, and he doesn’t want to say that there is nothing on Earth that could get him to stay- that would be a lie-, but this is something he is firmly resolved on doing. Also the reason why he didn’t tell her anything during his last flying visit, though this mission was already in the making: he is much more vulnerable to her eyes than to any speech.   

She sighs, and one of the corners of Davis’s mouth ticks up; sometimes he is unfair with her, with everything he puts over her shoulders, but he chose her and keeps on choosing her partly because he knows she can take it.

When she finally speaks again- obviously resigned to him not saying anything else that can give her material to coax him out of the idea- her voice is stern, but not devoid of empathy.

“If I can not talk you out of it, then walk me through it. I need to know what are you going to be doing so I can tell Mike better stories about it.”

He knows Mindy is not trying to manipulate him, more that gentle remind him of what his reason to come back home in one piece is, but the mention of their child almost, _almost_ breaks his resolution.

It’s hard, thinking about every memory he doesn’t have with his son and every memory that he is volunteering to never truly make. It would be easy, to come back home and enjoy his share of the domestic life. Piper has told him over and over again that he deserves that choice, if he ever wants to take it. Maybe someday he will, but today is not that day.

Because today he can’t bear to tell Mindy that he is doing this for her and Mike too, because she once was _this_ close to being in Jemma’s position, and he can not let that happen to anyone else, if he can do something about it. It all comes full circle, in a way: Fitzsimmons’ tech saved Deathlok, and Deathlock saved him, and now he can not shy away from saving Fitz.

He finally settles for, “Agent May is retiring, and they need a pilot for a mission.” He makes a pause. “Only that, um, it’s in space.” He can hold back information for her sake- that’s pretty much the description of his job-, but he doesn’t lie willingly to her if it can be avoided; that’s why he says it with a casual tone of voice, hoping that Mindy’s scientific curiosity will kick in faster than her fear.

“Oh, did Fitz actually get the Zephyr viable for space travel?”

He feels his chest burning at even the mention of his name; his reaction is tame, considering that Agent May straight up freezes and Director Mackenzie breaks down into uncontrollable tears every time he is mentioned. Davis would have never predicted any of those reactions, but grief does things to people that are not always within reason.

He should have imagined that this could happen, her mentioning Fitz; maybe she knows them only through his anecdotes, but Mindy has a soft spot in her heart for the young scientists, has developed a bond through the way Davis himself sees them, has even cooed over their wedding pictures. He does not have the courage to tell Mindy what happened; she has heard the news for the regular public and found them horrifying enough for him to pile on top of it a tragedy that hits too close to home. She can not know. He signed up to be the Shield, and he gotta be hers first and foremost.

He is proud of his firm voice when he finally replies, “Yeah. Yeah, he did.” It tastes a little like poetic justice, in a way, that Fitz got to design the medium that will allow them to rescue him. He can do with that positive spin on his thinking. He swallows at the same time both the smile and the tears that he has been fencing for a while, and reagroups. “It might be a long mission, though.”

When Mindy sighs again, he thinks, for a second, about how unfair it is the amount of sighing they do around each other, not because each other per se, but because… this. Everything. Life. He has wondered, during rough nights, if it is fair to put her through this, time and time again, but she has told him, in a way that left no place for arguments, that the true unfairness would be to not let her make her own choices.

“That’s okay.” The calm tone of her voice makes his heart clench. He loves this woman who _gets_ him beyond all reason, and because he can understand love like that is that he can not turn a blind eye when duty is calling to him. “We will be waiting for you when you come back home.”

Of all the things that have been said during this conversation, that is the one that gets closer to breaking him, because he might not get that chance back; hell, he has been already way too close to not getting that chance of coming back. And yet, who would he be if he weren’t willing to do the same for someone else, for another wife that is fighting to get her husband back home?  

“I know.”          


End file.
